Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
