I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
