when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
