i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
