i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
