Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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