I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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