I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
