There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
