we have officially lost it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
