Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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