He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize