she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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