Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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