He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
