if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
