Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
