Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
