apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
