I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
