Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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