I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
