I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
