i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I need a beard to bite.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
