so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
