i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
