Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
