Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
