no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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