the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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