I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
