I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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