TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
