i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
