whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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