Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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