i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
