we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
