Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
