Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
