East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
