Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
