He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
