sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
