We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
