We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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