My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
