last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
