You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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