who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
