WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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