you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it's great music for shaving your balls
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
